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Find Joy In Solitude

"In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone." ~ Rollo May

One of the biggest gifts I’ve given myself on my path to personal growth and an understanding of happiness is to be able to overcome my fear of being alone. And to discover the wealth of possibilities found in solitude.

In the past, I have settled into unfulfilling relationships, out of the sheer fear of being alone. Sometimes, in an attempt to please another person, I’ve lost touch with who I am, deep down. When we lose touch with our true selves, we also lose touch with the creative source that peace and joy come from.

After many failed relationships, I found myself in the same place: alone and afraid, and unconsciously seeking a new relationship so that I wouldn’t be alone. But in doing so, I lost myself.

This seems to be a common theme I’ve observed with breakups and relationship troubles. The fear and realities of being alone cause us so much pain, that we’ll do all we can to hang on to an unhealthy relationship.

The best gift we can give ourselves is to face this fear, learn to love ourselves, and come to a place where we can love the sacred space of solitude.

When I started, I looked for things I enjoyed doing, and went out to do them on my own. I called it “taking myself on a date.” I would take myself to coffee shops armed with a good book. I took myself to movies, attended symphonies, and ate at restaurants. In the evenings, I took bubble baths, listened to beautiful music and took up drawing and photography.

Even though I was afraid in the beginning, when I embarked on the journey to learn about myself and to find joy in solitude, my whole world changed for the better.

-Tina

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