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Fix Your Tone

When I was 13 or 14 years old, and starting to really hone my "teen attitude," my mom would point out times when the tone of my voice was snarky or mean, and say "Fix your tone!" That meant I'd have to re-say what I had just said, this time in a more pleasant tone.

Sometimes it was almost physically painful to say it sweetly. That's how powerful the tone of your voice can be.

New research says that babies can recognize moods by the time they're seven months old - due to, you guessed it, the tone of your voice. That doesn't surprise me at all.

Have you ever noticed that when you have hurt feelings, it's often not the words someone said that hurt you, but the tone in which they said it? Tone can giveaway if someone is frustrated with us, or making fun of us, or being impatient. On the other side of the spectrum, words spoken in a tender and kind tone, even if the words themselves aren't especially meaningful, can make us feel incredibly supported and loved.

I even wonder if tone of voice might be one of those "fake it till you make it" situations, kinda like how smiling can actually make you feel happier. I wouldn't be surprised if someday, science proves that talking in upbeat tones in situations where we feel like using much nastier tones could actually boost our own moods, not just the moods of people around us.  Basically, science would just be catching up with moms everywhere.

-Brigitte