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Getting Upset is Wasteful

"If a situation can be fixed, why get upset about it?

If a situation cannot be fixed, what's the use of getting upset?"

~Geshe Michael Roach

It seems so obvious when the words of the above quote are displayed for us in such a transparent fashion. But in daily life, we seem to forget about this bit of wisdom when dealing with various challenges and disappointments we encounter in life.

Here are some things that I’ve gotten upset about in the past:

• My car is towed because I parked in a bad spot. It’s annoying, I have to take a taxi to the car pound and pay $300 to get my car back.
• A boyfriend broke up with me unexpectedly.
• Someone hacked into my blog and injected viruses in my file structure. I spent 2 days to get it fixed, and 2 more days to learn about and implement online security.
• Someone made unpleasant comments about me online or via email.

It’s so easy to rush into the heat of our emotions and invest energy being upset about them. It’s normal, and happens to us all. But we all know when looking at these situations clearly from a distance, that we have wasted our energy. No amount of “being upset” will change a situation.

Instead, I could shift my focus on these situations, and view them differently to redirect the desire to get upset. For example, rephrasing the above scenarios:

• Yes my car was towed and it’s annoying. But I’ve learned a lesson to pay attention to where I park. It’s okay, I can always make $300 back. No point getting upset about it.
• Getting upset won’t change the situation, or get an ex-boyfriend back. Perhaps this is a good time to learn about forgiveness and letting go.
• I am thankful that someone hacked into my blog, now I get to learn about security. Let me not waste time being upset and focus on getting this fixed.
• There is nothing I can do to change other people’s opinions. I can’t please everybody. I know that I am doing the best I can in every moment. I will not let the opinions of others affect my good mood and well-being. I will instead focus on something else more productive and meaningful to me.

See if you can shift your story so that you spend less time feeling upset over things you don’t have control over, and instead spend that energy doing something that could make you happy.

-Tina