Overcome a Crisis by Being Still
“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists of the elimination of non-essentials.” ~ Lin Yutang
The other day I was chatting with a friend, Cathy (name changed), who leads a busy life. Cathy is a mother of two, a writer, a volunteer, and is adjusting to life in a new city. She deals with her stresses as they come, and feels like she is coping pretty well.
Last week Cathy heard that a close family member was hospitalized. There were a multitude of symptoms, which led to a crisis and an emergency trip to the hospital. The extended family, including Cathy and Cathy’s husband, is concerned about her health and well-being, but Cathy is 3000 miles away and can’t just drop in to check on her. Luckily they have siblings in the same city.
For many people this would be the tipping point. Life can fall apart. Health can suffer. A busy life doesn’t leave room for crisis. Activities and plans get forgotten or dropped. If someone has a full schedule, one more incident (especially a family crisis) can cause further stress and anxiety.
However my friend told me something I did not expect.
Despite the upset this threw her way, she still feels balanced. She is upset about her ill relative, but she understands the greater perspective. While this becomes their priority, their life can also function the way it needs to so everyone else can stay healthy. If one of her children missed a baseball practice, or she has to write a shorter article or get offline for a couple days, then that is just the way it will be.
She could have felt overwhelmed by the added stress and expectation (Do we fly there? Do we stay? What can we do? How often do we call? What do we tell the kids when we don’t even know what’s really going on?).
Instead, she chose to remain centered and make choices based on what she control now, in this moment. Anything in the future will either work itself out or will present itself for a decision.
And she understood that remaining in the moment didn’t mean she couldn’t book a flight, make a phone call to check in with family or cancel an activity for the weekend. In fact if she saw a decision she could make now, then she did, which cleared her schedule for future unknowns, and lowered her stress level.
What to do when in a crisis?
1. Stay centered and in the present moment
2. Change our expectations of what we can accomplish, without guilt
3. Make choices we can make now, and let go of the ones we can’t
4. Choose to be with the people who are important to us
Her crisis isn’t over, but she is managing just fine. Perhaps this will help you in a crisis, so when life throws you a curve ball, you can turn and catch it.
--Tina Su
Photo by Helga Weber
“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists of the elimination of non-essentials.” ~ Lin YutangThe other day I was chatting with a friend, Cathy (name changed), who leads a busy life. Cathy is a mother of two, a writer, a volunteer, and is adjusting to life in a new city. She deals with her stresses as they come, and feels like she is coping pretty well.
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