People Pleasing
You've been told "You can't please everybody," and I bet you decided that didn't really apply to you. I bet you can think of people that you don't want to please. The truth is, very few people want to please everybody. Instead most of us have a just a few people we'd like to be really happy with us.
When you really think about your reasons for doing things, you may find that deep down, you are driven by the desire to make other people happy or proud of you. There's usually one or two people in particular, like your parents, a boss, or a teacher whose approval means the world to you.
Sometimes this is good kind of motivation. A parent or child or mentor can inspire you to be a better person... for them.
But the trouble comes when seeking the approval of someone else makes you try to become not a better person, but a different person. Maybe your parents always dreamed you'd be a lawyer and just can't understand why you'd open a restaurant instead. Striving to satisfy a person who wants different things for you than you want for yourself will only create a constant source of tension and disappointment in your life. The more you make that other person happy, the more you'll resent them. That's no way to live!
Take a look at what and who drives you, and ask yourself if all these driving forces are driving the same direction. If not, save yourself the future strife of being pulled different directions. Talk to the people you want to please the most about what direction you truly want to be headed.
-Brigitte
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Comments
Joe436 Friday, May 21, 2010
I stopped trying to please other people a long time ago. Either you're happy with who am and what I've done or you're not.
Blargal Friday, May 21, 2010
Hello,Brigitte.
Being "All things to all people" is a sure way to lose ones self. I find it easier to be the same mood to others. Those who respond positively, stay in my orbit of friends. I can nuture my relations with them easily.
romeo Friday, May 21, 2010
pleasing everybody is only possible if you know who to please first or last......
most of the women in my life -if not all.
~have suggested that it may be in my best interest to stop smoking.
i can -and i have before.... it isn't as difficult as it seems.
control may be easily relinquished accordingly on and by no terms beyond volition. it happens quite naturally during the course of the relationship.
it must be a total and deliberate decision..
to be perfectly earnest -in all candor ~i see no sense in doing so -not without a ring on my finger.
it's not my call -it's her's.....
she just has to ask..
Mark Friday, May 21, 2010
Very true Brig, I needed to hear this today.
Bless you
: )
Brenda Sheets Sunday, May 23, 2010
This sounds like something that could help blue days and keep you on a even keel.