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Shift Away From Negative Thinking

“Being negative is easy. There will always be a downside to everything good, a hurdle to everything desirable, a con to every pro. The real courage is in finding the good in what you have, the opportunities in every hurdle, the pros in every con.” ~Carolyn Hax

Our perception and frame of mind is so powerful; a simple shift in the story we tell or viewing a circumstance from a slightly different angle can drastically change how we feel.

Undesirable and unpleasant experiences happen to us all. How we handle the situation not only builds character, but also affects our overall wellbeing.

I have been broken up with, backstabbed by a friend, betrayed by a lover, lost money and a whole slew of other unfortunate things. But I believe that beyond the initial hurt feelings, focusing on all that has “happened to us” is completely optional, because it only keeps us feeling bad.

Think about it. No amount of grief, anxiety or resentment will undo the past. No amount of worry or self-pity will reunite you with a significant other or help you feel better. If you observe from your past experiences, it’s obvious that by being angry and resentful, you only end up feeling more angry and resentful.

Turning this train of thought around to be one that is positive and proactive is just as easy—even though it appears like an impossible task when you are in the middle of feeling unhappy.

Here are the steps you need in order to turn your emotions around:

1. Awareness – Notice that you are not feeling good. The awareness that whatever it is you are thinking is triggering a negative feeling in you.
2. Decision – A conscious decision that you want to move away from the negative and into something more conducive to your emotional wellbeing.
3. Tell a Different Story – Instead of picking out all the things that have gone wrong, start noticing all the good surrounding you. It helps to list out all the things you are grateful for. At first, it’ll feel a little forced. After a few minutes of choosing to see positive things, you’ll start to notice your emotions beginning to shift. See if you can find something good from the situation. See if you can change your perspective so that you no longer feel bad.

 

Keep Trying. Remember that you have a choice.

Every shift or dream began with a single baby step in the direction you want to be. Take that step, and witness as miracles and magic unfold in your life.

-Tina Su

Photo by Kyknoord