The 18/40/60 Rule
“The 18/40/60 Rule: When you’re 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you’re 40, you don’t give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you’re 60, you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all.” ~Dr. Daniel Amen
I heard this quote a few weeks ago, and I just cracked up laughing. I love the wisdom and humor contained in this quote by Dr. Daniel Amen.
Isn’t it true? When we were teenagers, and often well into our adult lives, so much of our time is spent trying to fit in with the norm, or trying to stand out from the crowd. Why do we do this? If we examine it subjectively, it is because we care what others think of us, and we want people to like us and accept us.
But in reality, what happens? Everyone else is already too pre-occupied with themselves and how they appear to you, that they really aren’t thinking about you.
For example, when we step into a party where we don’t know anyone. It’s easy to feel self-conscious as we walk into a room filled with strangers. We worry what others will think of us. But probably in reality, everyone else at the party may be also feeling self-conscious in such a social setting, that they really aren’t concerned with you. They are focused on themselves, and how they may appear to the outside world.
Being self-conscious and overtly concerned with our perceived appearance can be exhausting. It takes mental energy to keep it up, and we wonder why we feel exhausted after going to such social engagements.
Just be yourself. You are not on center stage as you think. Remember to take some deep breaths. Relax and enjoy.
--Tina Su
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Comments
J Wednesday, March 02, 2011
but what is myself?
Filis Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Interesting, I am also learning that most people are not so concerned with myself, but there are others that really are. I am kind of surprised to see this, but there are people that check on me so they can have something to gossip or say mean things. They are also probably preoccupied with themselves but find time to judge others life decisions and feel joy when seeing others fail. This still hurts me and I am not sure how I can grow out of this.
Ailora Wednesday, March 02, 2011
I've dealt with this off and on over the years. It really disturbs me how self conscious I can be in certain settings. It's been bad enough that I tend to avoid functions or get-togethers.
Most people probably think I'm missing out but it's just so much better to be alone or with one or two friends than to be uncomfortable and strained all evening in a room full of people. Why should I expose myself to that if I don't enjoy it?