The Illusion of the Mind
The week in Cincinnati was an interesting one. I say interesting, because it’s the polite thing to say, but in reality it was extremely challenging and stressful.
I don’t think my husband nor I considered—in advance—the consequences and challenges of traveling with our 14-month old son. Ryan never got used to the hotel crib, waking up every few hours, and sometimes he didn’t stay asleep until early morning.
As you can imagine, Jeremy and I were completely exhausted from lack of sleep. There is something about sleep deprivation that strikes a nerve with us that can sometimes bring out such uncomfortable qualities as short temper, anxiety, and low mood.
By the end of the week, I felt completed depleted, drained of energy and unhappy.
The interesting thing I observed in myself during this time was that because I was so unhappy, my mind began to seek out more problems to keep me established in this low mood place. It was weird.
For example, due to the lack of sleep, my husband and I were both short tempered with each other when faced with challenging circumstances (such as a crying baby in public). On the receiving end of the short temper, I found myself taking it personally, and projecting it upon my relationship with the story that “he doesn’t love me.”
Much of the week, my mind was wandering off, looking for evidences that “he doesn’t love me.” This story, of course, isn’t true. It is a fabrication of the mind that became real for me from repetition. The result from this pattern of thinking: more unhappiness. After coming home, I was able to recharge my spirit, regaining clarity and feeling centered again— it became clear to me what was happening. It became clear to me to use the power of my mind and imagination. It became clear to me how suggestible my mind is, and the power my emotions have on my well-being. It became clear to me the illusions my mind can create can cause so much pain.
I’ve learned an important lesson: My mind is responsible for the problems that I perceive to be true. Instead of dwelling on the illusion of the problem and continuously telling the tale of “poor me,” I’ve decided to get some rest, relax and restore myself to a place of balance.
With balance comes clarity. With clarity comes the understanding that I can choose to feel well, again and again.
--Tina Su
Photo by dawn_perry
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