Understanding Others
“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around, and why his parents will always wave back.” ~ William D. Tammeus
Family can be the best of friends. They can also bring out the frustrations in life. I have a friend whose family is dealing with a solvable but acute health crisis. Her mother is in and out of the hospital, doctor’s office and therapist’s office.
She is frustrated because the doctors just want to give her mother pills. She is upset because her father doesn’t seem willing to change his routine and pitch in. So she is doing all the traveling back and forth to care for her mother.
One night she was speaking to her husband, who said, “Maybe your father wants to help, but feels helpless. Maybe he is unable to change.”
In her tiredness, and sadness, she wasn’t able to gain the perspective to see what her father may be going through. But with these wise words from her husband, she realized that she was only looking at the situation through her eyes.
When she was able to see how her father was coping (or not coping) she saw that he probably needed as much support as her mother did. She didn’t need to provide the same amount of time to her father, but he did need her understanding and compassion.
We naturally approach situations from our own point of view. Yet it is only when we can expand our perspective that we are able to grow and learn. Our change in perspective gives us the opportunity to truly become part of another’s lives.
Think about who you might speak to when you say, “I understand,” “I see,” or “I didn’t think of it that way.” You say this because you are aware of how the other person sees life situations, and in doing so, you expand your own understanding of the world around you.
In shifting her perspective, my friend was able to let go of her own frustrations and feel more empowered to help both parents. In doing so she came home each night grateful she found a way to improve both her parent’s lives. As her mother got better, she felt more love between her and her father. And love is the ultimate understanding.
-- Tina Su
Photo by: Pilottage
“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around, and why his parents will always wave back.” ~ William D. TammeusFamily can be the best of friends. They can also bring out the frustrations in life. I have a friend whose family is dealing with a solvable but acute health crisis. Her mother is in and out of the hospital, doctor’s office and therapist’s office.
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